- Suddenly my friend thrust a large seabird into my hands. He gave me quite a tern.
- I married an amplifier, but only because I hated to turn it down.
- One day as I stroked my wife, I started feeling down. Finally, evidence that she was having an affair with a duck.
- I scream a lot to make myself hoarse. I undress to make myself bare. I throw stones at myself to make myself duck.
- For no reason, my friend became a square, flat surface with four legs. I rushed him to hospital. His condition is table.
- You don't need to be mad to work here but... no. Sorry. Yes you do.
- Exactly ten years ago to the day, my cow died. I know because I made a note in my dairy.
- I found an photograph of the captain of the Hindenburg during its final descent. It was singed.
- Korma: the belief that what you get out of a curry depends on what you put into it.
- I heard that not as many women are getting Brasilians recently. Does this mean that waxing is waning?
- Grammar for the 21st century...
Infinitive: I sync my phone.
Past tense: I sanc my phone.
Past participle: I have sunc my phone.
- Good Omens by Pratchett and Gaimcan (1990) compared to Black Books (BBC 2000-2004) - "Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical book seller he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells. Glowering looks. Erratic opening hours. He was incredibly good at it." Interesting similarity!
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